6 and counting

Today I have been trying to figure out how to change my status message into that 17 and counting show of a family that lives in Fayteville, Arkansas. I have had 6 migraines so far this semester, and this last one lasted for over a 24 hour period. In case you can't tell, I am still a little bit drugged up from the medicine that they gave me at the hospital. Now I know what to do when I have another bad awful migraine. I am afraid that I am not going to be able to finish school full-time like I want to. It seems that migraines have become a major issue on what I can and can not do nowadays. This sucks! It truly does! I didn't attend any of my classes, I didn't get homework finished for any of my classes, and plus, I am just scarred out of my wits on what to do anymore. I just keep praying that somehow I will either find what this issue is on these migraines and what causes, or that they will ease up over time so I can live on with life. All I know is that if I keep praying, the Lord will help me in a way for me that is possible.

Dreams

While I was at work last night, I went through my planner and put all the times that I am working in so I remember and not have to do it later. Plus, no one was there swimming and I forgot a book, so I was BORED! I got home about 11:30 from work and I just laid down and watched an episode of CSI: Miami, because I am the only one at my apartment this weekend. When I went to bed, I had a dream. I dreamed that Zach and I were driving somewhere (don't know where!) and then we get hit by a car that ran a red light. I was directly hit, and was near death. I just remember being in the Hospital and not being able to do anything. Not able to move, Not able to even think. I could hear everything, but I couldn't see, I couldn't speak, I couldn't even cry out for help, or for a hug. I was just trapped inside my body going crazy. I woke up to me crying and thrashing around. I haven't gone back to sleep since then. Other than that school is going well, only have been sick twice in a week and a half, and missed a day of work, and one class. So far, so good I guess. I guess we will see when I get gurther into the semester, but I am afraid that I am not going to be able to finish. I want to, it is my dream, but with the way my health has been, I just don't know if my body can handle all this stress from college. That is why I am taking as few credits as possible, or else I get really sick like I have found out!

Gifts!

This past week has just been amazing! I don't know why, but it has. I have just been blessed so much and sometimes I guess I just need to be able to open my eyes and notice it! List of blessings that I have received, goes on and on, but they might seem silly to you, but to me, they are my lifesaver at this moment on this particular day! Monday, my friend Derek gives me a hundred dollars for my Birthday present which was the previous day. Helped me buy groceries! Tuesday I locked myself out of my car and was late for work by an hour. At least my dad had the extra key, which reminds me I need to make another one! Wednesday I find out I have scholarship money available so I take it and I put it in the bank so I don't have bouncing checks! I was very grateful to be able to put in over three hundred dollars into my account! Thursday, PAYCHECK from BYU-Idaho! PLUS, lifeguard try-outs with the results in the evening! GUESS WHAT! My name was on a full time guard position! I was so happy! Actually so happy that I was jumping up and down clapping my hands together, and then I jumped into a guy and knocked him over! Sorry for whoever it was! Friday will be interesting. I have started my classes and they all seem pretty easy. I guess that is what I get for only signing up for the min. credit amount to be a full time student. I find that they more credits I take, the sicker I will be after midterms. Sucks, I KNOW! Well, I am off to bed now!

No More Teens!

A day of firsts and lasts. My last day of waking up at home. Also my last day of being a teenager. My first day of living on mine own. My first day of buying groceries. Wow! I am in the big world now, and I already feel overwhelmed while at the same time; lonely. Not much has happened in the way of other things. School starts on Wednesday. I will still be working in Idaho Falls and in Rexburg this next week. Lifeguard Try-outs are on Thursday. I might quit in Idaho Falls. Ummmmm lets see my birthday is tomorrow and there really isn't much that I want. I just want love from my number 1 guy in my life. Derek got off early a few nights this week and the three of us did some things together, but really life is still life. Changes happen, but you learn how to get around that. I will now be walking to a majority of the places now, and will be seeing less of my parents, but really, I still function all the same. Turning 20 in my life is a turning point in my life. My birth mother just turned 20 when she had me, and it gives me the realization of how scary life is on your own, and when you really don't have parents nagging at you all the time. Life will still go on even with the changes that I have made.

Happiness

So I was smart and stayed off of this blog until I was able to think of something positive to write. I know that when I am down, my posts are down. Well, I have several good news. For one, it is almost three hours into the new year, and on new years eve was time that I spent with Zach. We went and saw Twilight (for the third time, and every time I find out something new, or something that is hidden that you don't notice before) and then we went and ate at Applebee's and saw a friend who just came back from China. We've missed her! The second good news is that I have all of New Years day off. So that gives me time to do some packing for me to move out. That is my third good news! I AM MOVING OUT! Wow, I never thought I would be so excited, but I am! Saturday I get to move out, and work that afternoon in Idaho Falls. hehe. That will be a crazy day none the less! Monday I work in Rexburg and in Idaho Falls, Tuesday I get to work in Idaho Falls, Wednesday classes start, and I work that night in Rexburg with a meeting going on after that! Thursday I also have classes, but I get a chance to breath from working. Who that that working six-seven hours at a job a day would wear you out? Well, it sure does wear me out! I am hoping so bad that I get a job on campus this semester as a Lifeguard so I can quit in Idaho Falls, or at least let them know that I don't need to work there for now. Other than that, nothing else is new in my life. Zach has had problems come up, and I have been helping him with that, but he is still holding strong. I love him for being strong with everything that is going on.