Migraines, and health

Yesterday my mom had an accident. I got home from running into town, and she was sitting on the couch with an icepack around her wrist. She told me that she fell and thought that she might have a broken bone. So in the afternoon dad took her to the hospital and had it x-rayed. Sure enough she broke the bone in the hand that goes to the pinky. So right now she is learning to be left-handed when it comes to certain things and has to be careful with what she does. She is wearing a splint right now until the swelling goes down and then they will put a cast on it. I wish so bad that I didn't have to go so soon, so then I could help mom with everything. Right now I have papers to do for this trip that I will be going on, and this week we have corn ready to pick, and many other vegetables ready to pick today and this week. We leave Saturday night after the Spaulding family reunion in Rigby. That ends around six, and we will just go to Utah after that. My brother and his wife are going to wait to leave till Sunday morning. They get up way crazily early anyways, so they are used to it. Monday we have the Thacker family reunion in Oakley, Utah. That is why we are going down there. My two sister's will be joining us for that also. I will have to leave early from the reunion though so I can get to the hotel in time. We are staying in SLC the first night and then our flight leaves around six in the morning. Yeah, I am not a morning person, so this trip is going to be interesting and I guess we will see how I do with everything. Monday evening we are hiking up to Ensign peak to overlook SLC valley. That sounds so gorgeous. I am just so excited to take this trip. My parents are now trying to find ways for me to stay home from this, but I am not going to give in. No way that I am going to waste twenty five hundred dollars go away like that. I know I will miss everyone, but I am about to have the most eventful trip of my life.
Lately my health has been on the line. Been having migraines like crazy, to where I lost my job, and I am not staying on top of my papers like I should be. My birth father wants me to have tests done, but I don't have the money to do that, and I don't have the time either. He just wants everything his way, and I am sorry, but I am not going to be able to find out what is causing this upon me. I just recovered from a bacterial infection, that almost got me put in the hospital. Had fluid in my lungs, and I was barely breathing. I was able to get some medicine in time before it go to bad. Last Thursday I called in sick with a migraine, and that is when I was told that I shouldn't come to work anymore because of always being sick. I was getting worse and worse throughout the day. I had to go to the ER and finally get a shot around ten or eleven at night. They wanted to keep me over night, but I refused because my insurance doesn't cover it. I am going to have fun paying the bills now! Since then I haven't had a migraine, but I am really concerned that I am going to have another one of those when I go on my trip next month. My parents think that I will be fine, and so they always constantly ask me how my head is doing. Even though I get tired of those questions, I know that they love me and that they are concerned also. This is enough for now. I will post some pictures later of some fun that I have done lately, and I might not have another post until I get back from the East Coast! ~*~Barbara~*~

STUPID LITTLE GIRL I AM!

Today I have been in a really glum mood. Ever since I woke up actually. I took a drive and I went to the palisades, and just sat in the car for a while parked at the dam. Then I decided I would get out and walk towards the water and just think. Usually when I am by water, I think the clearest. Something happened last night that I am not proud of or really happy about. Apparently I was flirting with guys last night. Catherine says that I was just having fun and goofing around like always. Well anyways, Zach got hissy pissy about it, and ran off and did the course all by himself that he didn't even slow down to stay with us. Catherine realized what was going on and decided that we were better off on our own anyways because we were having fun just messing around trying to get our balls into the holes. Zach claims I wasn't a jerk. Well, running off and leaving your fiance/gf/other half/w.e I am, and friends behind isn't? I told him that I am so tired of being treated like a jerk. He still acts like he is in High School. Lately I have been praying about it. I can only think of one thing. RUN! Amanda has offered for me to stay with her in KS while I try to figure things out. Maybe get a job while there and possibly go to FHSU with her down there. Anyways, my family is there, so I would be closer to them. Ever since I have graduated from High School the only reason I stay is to be with my parents. Some part of me has wanted to go to BYU-Idaho, but more of me has actually wanted to go to WSU in Wichita. I don't know. Maybe I am being stupid and doubting myself. Yeah, that is it. I am stupid. I am sure that any of you who read this, completely agree with me on that fact. I am just so afraid of leaving Zach. He says that if I were to break up with him, he wouldn't see any other girl. I don't think that is completely true, but it could very well be. I don't know. I am just being a dumb donkey who is apparently not on the right track.

What really makes me tick.

I feel so bad. For the past two weeks I have been sick, and Zach would come around, and I was still spending time with him, and now he is starting to get sick. Wow, shows how smart I am. I am glad though that he at least goes to work and tries his hardest. Yesterday he came home so sick, that I just went over and watched Pirates with him and then I went home. I wasn't there too long because I wanted him to get some sleep also. The night before he had Derek and Catherine over watching some space movie until like midnight. I got home late also that night. There is one thing lately that I have noticed. PEOPLE! They drive me crazy sometimes. I mean I can't even post something on the internet with Zach's mother getting a phone call about what I said. That is like Tattle telling. My word. People just need to grow up and worry about their own business. Zach is getting tired of it, I am too. What really bugs me also is the people at work. They think they own the place, and that they can treat everyone like crap just because they are lifeguards. It ticks me off when a seventeen year tells me how to close. I have closed so many times, that you will need more than one person with fingers and toes to count it. Ahh screw them. I only have one week left of working there anyways. If they want to be hotheads to other people, I will let them. They are not going to be hot heads with me though. I just wish people would leave Zach and I alone though. That is what he wants because he hates having his mom always get on him. He hates it, and just wishes that they would grow up and be more manly.
Other than that, tonight we are going to the Riot Zone to just like go and have fun. Our friend Catherine is in town before she leaves to go to college in Colorado. Thursday night, he was telling Derek how she got us together. It really was her that said that we should date. Actually she had spent time with Zach, and figured out that he had the likes for me. Then, a few days later came with me to Utah and told me and figured out that I did have a small crush on him. So there you go. She is the matchmaker I guess! But yeah, we are going to do that tonight, and nothing else really comes to my mind. Peace out!! ~*~Barbara~*~

Doctor

So today I went to the Student Heath Center up on campus to see if they could give me something for this terrible that I have. The doctor came into the room and just hear me cough once, and said, "You must be feeling really horrible!" I replied that I was and that I want to know what I have. He listened to my lungs and he told me that I fluid in my lungs. Well, yeah I knew I had that. I have been feeling it for the past couple of days, and I cough it up. So he had me do a breath test, I failed, which showed that my asthma was in place. Then he drew blood. He said that my blood count was way too high, even to fight an infection it was way too high. So I am going back in on Friday to have more blood drawn, and I am also on antibiotics. Other than those few things, he didn't exactly tell me what I have. He advised that I stay away from work though. I shouldn't work until I stop coughing up phlegm, since I am around kids and people who have families. I think I gave whatever I have to Zach. He is starting to get it now. Man, I feel horrible for doing that to him. He has enough on his shoulders, he doesn't need this illness also.
So today I got an e-mail from one of my professors saying that he didn't receive any quizzes for history class on this trip. I replied with my conditions, and he said that he would work with me on that. Especially with my migraines. I am so glad to have professors like that. He said to not worry so much about this class until I finish all the papers for Religion. I just want to give him a hug for that! Other than this illness that I have plus migraines with nausea; I am perfect. At least emotional wise I am perfect. Mom, Dad, and I went over to Zach's and had a talk with them last night. Went way better than I thought it would. Of course, the parents did most of the talking, but they did talk to us. I would've talked, but I have lost my voice for yesterday and today. That is why if you call me, I probably won't answer because I don't have a voice unless you are really good at hearing someone so raspy like I am. But back to the talk. I enjoyed it! I just hope that Zach enjoyed it also. He hasn't really talked to me for a couple days now. Big issue came up, and I think he is still upset about that. Let's just say that he isn't really happy with some people like I think he should. Well, I am going to go take some ibuprofen, and go to sleep. Get some well deserved rest from this coughing. ~*~Barbara~*~

Plans

So today I had three papers due! Wow was that hard. I started on Monday, and I just finished this afternoon at three-thirty. I went to Wal-Mart this morning and got Breaking Dawn. Got there about 11:30 and the line wasn't that long, but then as it got closer to midnight, the line grew dramatically! I was glad that we didn't have to wait long to get the book. I have started it already and I am just about a third of the way through. Right now for my life I am just working mornings here in Rexburg teaching swim lessons, then go to Idaho Falls guarding at night. I don't like working down there so much anymore like I used to. Everyone seems to be mean at each twenty-four/seven. I am glad that I leave in September and then I can come back and find a different job when I get back. Talking about when I get back, Zach and I are hoping to get married when I do. If not, I will just enjoy my time at home without having to worry about school work or anything. Well, I am going to go now so byeas.